I have always tried to be as transparent with you guys as possible, letting you in on the process of making (and not making) Community. So maybe my silence on the issue of a hypothetical sixth season seems frustrating. I was thinking I could stay quiet because there’s too much to say and anything…
Hello Tumblr, long time.
Like many men, woman, hell, people, I’ve issues with my father. Another thing, that I’m sure many people have a problem with, is admitting it.
I have a hard time allowing myself to feel anger or resentment towards the man, because he is human, he makes mistakes, I’ve made mistakes, and I do forgive him. There’s this part of my subconscious that’s tugging me toward him, every night I seem to be dealing with the bigger issues that I understand when I’m under my eyelids. Eventually I wake and the feelings mean fuck-all.
I continue to do next to nothing about it. I saw him for the first time in two years a few weeks ago, and have I said anything to him since then? No. Have I thought about him? Yes.
I know now, at my ripe wisdom filled age of twenty, the world doesn’t revolve around me. I also know that I chose to stay. The ‘rents may have up and left, but they did everything in their power to take me with them. I refused. I wasn’t exactly abandoned, but those feelings still make sense, I think, in this self-psychological brain of mine.
I was on acid the other day with my best friend. Somewhere amidst the circling thoughts, I was able to maintain a conversation through text with a beautiful woman. My seven dogs were brought up.
One ran away.
They were abandoned, literally. I’d like to now bring up the fact that animal shelters charge you a ridiculous amount of money, per dog, to take them there to make sure someone eventually fucking loves them again.
I may have been a drug dealer, but I didn’t have five thousand dollars. My brothers (best friends) came to my house and we picked up the dogs, put them in the truck and just dropped them at a gated park right by the shelter.
That was the worst night of my life.
I went and saw Why? that summer, and it was the last day I ever stayed at the home I grew up in. I had these sunglasses, that you couldn’t see my eyes under, which was crucial since I still had an unbelievably low tolerance to marijuana.
I watched Fight Club in my room, it was the only DVD I kept at my house, the rest were scattered between friends. My Mom had been gone a month or so, my Dad had vacated the premises maybe a week before.
Somehow, this was after I had gotten robbed, I managed to get my hands on some weed so I wasn’t surviving on much oxygen. As soon as I finished the movie, I went outside, just to enjoy the summer sunshine, and DP&L was there. Turning off my electricity.
I’ve spent a lot of time since then, stuck, looking back and never really putting one foot ahead of the other in search for something new, I guess because I’ve felt that replacing something isn’t really bringing it back.
The more I know the less I know.
I don’t remember this title.
Beat from : www.genycis.com
New version of an older song.